40th Birthday Jokes

Fun 40th birthday jokes for your loved one or that special someone who is about to turn that significant birthday age. Here are some awesome jokes you can tell to your 40th birthday star or have a game where you all each tell a great joke as the expense of the birthday star.


  • 40 It's all a big joke until it happens to you.
  • The new and improved 40 year old- yeah right!
  • Confuscious says, "Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you when you least expect it."
  • Turning 40 is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.
  • It was reported recently that at the age of 20, men say they have sex at least 5 times a week. By the time they reach 40, they're still telling the same lie.
  • Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. -Charles Schulz
  • The best years of a woman's life are the ten years
    between 39 and 40.
  • "You know what they say about your 40th birthday?" and in the follow up message send "Damn!"
  • A wife wanted to surprise her husban for his 40 b-day and planned a surprise party of about 20. Now the man went by a small resturant on his way home and saw, "mom's hommade beans" Because he has such a gas problem. he promised his wife he would always refrain form his ultimate favorite meal. Well he thought he had quite a few miles to go before he got home so what the heck, one bowl wouldn't hurt. But resist he could not. He ate 4 bowls of beans. Still reassured he could get this gas out before he got home. When he arrived, his wife put a blindfold on him so he couldn't see the guest that had arrived. She sat him at the dinning room table and the urge to let out his gas was horrible, but he held it in so as not to offend his wife to whom this was so disgustiing.; While sitting at the table, the phone rang. Now he thought he would get one out. He ripped away and the smell was horrible so he fanned it. again, the let out another and it sounded like it ripped the seat cushion. He fanned again. He still heard his wife on the phone so he thougth he was safe. rrrrrrump. this was really bad so he fanned extra hard.. Finally he heard his wife get off the phone. and by now hte smell was gone. She came in and told him she had a special surprise and removed the blind fold. there at the table were 20 of his friends, his boss, some co-workers and his mother and father-in-law. SURPRISE!!!! by Memere from UK answers.yahoo

  • Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

    Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.


Feel free to add to your 40th birthday jokes at the bottom of the page.

Check out the ideas for games for adults and food ideas as well.  (the links/pictures will take you to our other pages on this site)

Present Ideas for Her  for the 40th Party.

Adult Party Games for your 40th.

Alcoholic Punch Ideas for your party.

Cake or Card Sayings

  • I'm not 40, I'm 22 with experience
  • Everytime a woman turns 40 a courgar is born.
  • Old enough to know better
  • It took 40 Years to look this good.
  • Holy crap!  I'm really 40!
  • I don't Ski but I'm going downhill fast
  • 40 The ultimate F word.
  • I'm not 40, I'm 39.95
  • Aged 40 to perfection.
  • Old fart's wife
  • Not another 40th birthday
  • I survived my 40th birthday
  • Yay, I'm in my Naughty 40s.
  • Warning 40 and cranky.
  • 40 is the new 30
  • I'm 40 what's you excuse?
  • Who knew 40 could look this good.
  • 40 and aging like fine wine.
  • Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

40th Birthday Jokes to homepage

Add your 40th birthday jokes here.